Ways To Discipline Your Child When Caught Cheating In School

No parent desires to be called by the principal due to cheating. However, this is common in the school setting. While your kid’s offense may upset you, you still have to think of strategies on how to discipline your child to avoid problems like this in the future. Hence, here are some ways for parents to remedy the situation.

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Listen To All Sides

As a parent, you might have the instinct to defend your child from the student or teacher who accused your child of cheating. However, this should not be the case. You should be neutral in these cases and seek the stories of all those who are involved.

The best way to start this is to set a meeting with the educators alongside your child. Ask for their version of the story. How did the teacher know of the cheating? What’s the story behind the classmate’s accusation? If you cannot understand what they are saying, calmly ask for clarification and patiently listen.

You also have to understand that cheating nowadays goes beyond looking at someone’s paper or copying their classmate’s homework. The rise of the digital age also gave way to more sophisticated means of doing this act. Some examples of this include wearing smartwatches with answers on them or hacking the principal’s computer to have access to the tests. With this in mind, you should always be open when listening to all of their accounts.

Give Out Punishments

Once you have verified that they indeed cheated, you have to hold them accountable for it and punish them for their wrongdoing. However, it is essential to tailor the consequences depending on the gravity of their situation. For example, his or her punishment for copying homework must be lesser than for cheating on an exam.

Some disciplinary actions include the following:

  • Welcome school consequences. If the teacher decides to give him detention or a zero on his paper, let them be. Do not stick up for your child since this might only give him the idea that cheating is acceptable for you.
  • Encourage him to apologize. He should make amends to those people involved. It may be with his classmate he copied his answers from or to the teacher whom he tricked.
  • Create a schoolwork plan. As a parent, you should also help your child cope with the stresses of school. To avoid copying and cheating, you can create a plan for schoolwork. It ensures that he does his homework or reads his assigned readings. The program can include establishing a fixed study time in the house, reading several pages of a book every day, or assigning a tutor for your child.

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Find The Reason For Cheating

There is most likely a reason why your child resorted to cheating. It can be because he or she sees older people cheat, there’s too much academic pressure, or his friends force him or her to commit the offense. Whatever it is, you have to pinpoint the exact reason why to be able to address the root of his or her dishonesty.

Always remember that you should send the message that cheating is unacceptable. Do not focus on what punishments to give to your child. If they don’t fully grasp the importance of honesty, they will most likely repeat this act in the future.

Top Alternatives To School Detention

Most educators see school detention as ineffective and a waste of time. Admit it: this punishment does not instantly fix a student’s attitude. It then leads them to become repeat offenders in the following weeks. Reading boring books and staring at walls might not do the job, but there are other alternatives to the traditional school detention. Let us explore them one by one.

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Lunch Workshop

Administrators can hire a counselor and meet these challenging students once a week for their lunch workshop. They are required to report to the counselor’s office without having to worry about their lunch. The office serves lunch so students won’t use the long lines in the cafeteria as an excuse to skip the sessions.

The counselor will then run a series of workshops tackling various character development issues. These include developing a positive vibe, having a growth mindset, attending support groups, or overcoming school stressors. The students should be able to connect to the chosen topics, and the one leading the discussion should be genuine to make the sessions as productive as possible.

After the mini-workshops, the counselor gives the floor to the student. It can be a safe space for him or her to share some of the struggles he or she faces. This practice will help build trust and connection with one another.

Mindful Moment Room

Instead of sending the naughty kids to a bland classroom, why not cure their disruptive behavior in a room with pillows, blankets, lamps, and decorations called the Mindful Moment Room. This place can be a space for the students to go through various types of meditation to calm them down.

Research shows that meditation positively affects both the body and mind. It enhances an individual’s patience, focus, attention span, and attitude.

Robert Coleman Elementary already practices this after-school program, and they were able to reap its benefits in just a short amount of time. According to the school administrators, the suspension rates dropped, class attendance increased, and test scores were at its highest in the past year.

Reflection Papers

If a student has a record of misbehaving all the time, the teacher may opt to place them in a quiet room and have them write a reflection paper. You can assign topics that you think they can relate to. After they write it, make sure to talk to them about their piece and engage a conversation with them.

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This approach can also be the best strategy for you to know why a student is acting up. Once you know his or her struggles, it will be easier for you to create a tailored action plan.

Community Service

Rather than cooping the student in a hole, why not let him or her engage in community service? Your school can partner with several non-governmental organizations (NGOs) where they can lend their time. These include nursing homes, orphanage, environmental groups, and many more. Exposing these individuals to good deeds might help them reassess their lives and change for the better.

Do not expect students to change their troubling behaviors by placing them in a small classroom. The goal of detention is to let the students be accountable for their mistakes, reflect on these shortcomings, and improve their behavior. The four alternatives mentioned above could be the way to attain these.

Self-Help Strategies To Overcome Kleptomania

Every time we encounter someone who steals from us, we always associate them with the idea of a criminal. We do not feel sorry for these individuals since we think that they do it on purpose. However, some people are only victims of a mental health disorder called kleptomania.

Kleptomania is the inability to prevent oneself from stealing from other people and feeling guilty and ashamed after. Take note that this is different from those who steal just because they’re bored, they want a thrill, or they only wish to. Kleptomaniacs feel uncontrollable urges to do this act, even if they don’t desire to. If you are experiencing these impulses, you might want to try these self-help strategies to overcome the disorder.

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Accept Your Situation

It is essential to recognize that you are experiencing kleptomania and understand that you need help. Some people fail to address this because of their inability to accept their situation. If you keep on putting aside this problem, your disorder might escalate more in the future.


You should start contemplating and reflecting to understand your condition completely. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • When do you usually steal?
  • How often do you do it?
  • How does it make you feel?
  • What do you think are your triggers?
  • What do you think are its consequences?
  • Who benefits from this?

You can grasp your stealing behaviors with the answers to these questions. Do you engage in this act to escape from reality or do you steal to experience emotional high? Are you more likely to do it when you’re stressed or when you’re relaxed? There are endless answers that you can obtain from these myriads of questions. You only have to analyze your responses to see the whole picture of your situation.

Create A Prevention Plan

Drafting a prevention plan can help you take control of your desire to steal. Start by identifying your stealing history. Then, determine your triggers from stealing and come up with specific steps to avoid waking up these urges. Here are some strategies for your prevention plan:

  • Observe. If you feel the urge beginning, stop what you are doing and stand still. Observe your environment, the people around you, and yourself. This action will help you calm your mind.
  • Talk to yourself. When you’re on the verge of succumbing to pressure, try talking to yourself. Remind yourself of your values, how good you are as a person, and how much you love yourself.
  • Exercise relaxation techniques. You can use relaxation techniques such as yoga or repeated breathing to calm yourself.
  • Distract yourself. Do something that you are passionate about, be it playing sports, painting, writing, or watching a movie. You should find a positive alternative to stealing.

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Aside from these self-help strategies, it might also be helpful for you to seek the help of a therapist.

BetterHelp is an online platform geared towards giving its users access to affordable therapy and counseling at the tip of their fingers.

Remember, you don’t have to endure your problem alone. You’ll get back on track faster with the help of your family, friends, and some professionals.

How To Deal With Your Parents White Lies According To Therapists

There have been many talks, studies, and writeups by therapists about children lying to their parents. On the other hand, discussions about parents lying to their children are rare. Telling white lies to a toddler-aged kid has been normalized by many when it comes to parenting. Once you get to your teenage years or young adulthood, and your parents still do this act, conflicts tend to arise, and the gap tends to increase.

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Research suggests most people consider it socially and culturally acceptable for parents to use white lies with their children. Psychologists and therapists identify some common reasons for parents’ white lies, including the protection of their children and their interests.

Parents also cover up the truth to shape their children’s behavior and feelings. Research from two related studies on parental lying and deception in the United States found parents also use white lies as a strategy to make their children happy. 

Impact Of Parental Lying On A Parent-Child Relationship

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It has been proven parental lying damages your relationship with your parents and diminishes intrinsic motivation. As a result, you will not learn the appropriate behavior you need to demonstrate if you always cooperate when they tell you white lies. Lying also tends to exhaust parents mentally as they must always remember the story they created to look and sound consistent.

Parents are hurting their children when they lie to them. As you grow old while you get used to your parents contradicting the truth you have come to know, you end up doubting yourself. At a young age, you should already have your inner sense of right and wrong through your parents’ encouragement. You may be denied a healthy personality once you are unable to trust yourself because of your parents.

Massachusetts Institute of Technology researchers have found children can sense when their parents are lying to them. It can lead them to distrust their parents, the very people who should teach them ethical values. Children, especially those who are beyond the age of curiosity, are not gullible and know when their parents are withholding information.

A New York Times article also pointed out that psychiatrists have been seeking to determine when white lies become destructive. Moreover, they have also been studying which kinds of mental health problems can be derived consequently. Therefore, parental lying may not only negatively impact a parent-child relationship but also cause serious health and well-being issues within the family.

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Tips On Dealing With Your Parents’ White Lies

  • Always ask your parents genuine questions. Every time you ask your parents about something you would like to know, measure their truth’s consistency. Show them you are eager to know the ‘real truth’ and how it will effectively and positively affect you as their child and as an individual.
  • Sympathize with your parents. It is crucial that at a young age, you already learn how to let your parents know you understand them and their struggles. Show your parents how open-minded and understanding you have become. As a result, they will no longer deny you the truth you seek to know even if it might hurt your feelings. Make them feel you are on the same page.
  • Avoid being overpowered by disappointment. As previously mentioned, parents often lie to protect their children’s emotions. It does not mean they are already removing parental support and guidance. As their child, you might face disappointments from your parents’ white lies and suspicious actions. You must know how not to overthink everything. Find a solution alongside your parents rather than on your own.
  • Distinguish the difference between acceptable and forbidden lies. Learning about the boundaries between truth and consequences at a young age are likely to stay with us as we grow up and old. You must not be oversensitive about everything and realize the white lies created by your parents are not always about or because of you.
  • Let them know what you value as a person. It is okay to be vocal as a child, especially when you demonstrate and maintain a respectful behavior. Open communication has been a vital, fundamental key to keeping a harmonious relationship within every group or network such as your family. Tell them directly how you feel about things and what you would like to know to improve yourself and manage growth.

Therapists have been giving expert advice to parents who still use lying as a parenting strategy. Now it is time you do your part as a growing child to understand your parents’ white lies and let them know you deserve to know the truth.

BetterHelp is here to provide you with affordable counseling in the most convenient way possible. In one click, you get to talk to the best therapists and counselors. So, what are you waiting for? Get better help.

Living With Mean Parents

There are people in our lives that always make us feel loved, safe, and respected. Those qualities are what we expect our parents would provide out of all people in the world. However, not all of our expectations reach a happy ending. That’s because some parents don’t seem to do their job correctly. As a result, some of us end up hating and not wanting them around. Most experts and psychologists would agree that our parents’ approach to bad parenting will affect our way of thinking and behaving. Therefore, the chances of damaging our overall health are at risk when we live and choose to stay with mean parents.

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Too Much Toxicity

Most parents would make a lot of sacrifices for their children so that they can have a better future. Unfortunately, there are those parents that don’t seem to work that way. Sometimes, they are the ones who always ridicule, taunt, and tease their kids for no apparent reason. These parents often yell and scream at their children when they do something wrong. There is no proper disciplinary action implied in parenting. In worst cases, they even resort to physical harm sometimes, especially when they get irritated and frustrated over a small mistake. There are unfortunate instances too that they would say mean and hurtful things. These include “you’re a terrible child,” “I don’t like you,” “you’re a burden to this family,” “I don’t love you,” “I regret not aborting you,” and a lot more.

With all the toxicity inside the family, a lot of us would grow up with low self-esteem and self-worth. Yes, we often hear their excuse such as “those are just words, and you’ll eventually get over it.” Some of us would think that our parents somehow don’t mean what they say. Despite our parents saying those words over and over again, we believe them. But something inside of us knows those words mean a lot.

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All the pressure, anxiety, and depression that our mean parents are giving us are unacceptable. In some cases, some of us do stupid things because of the emotional and mental damage they cause. These include cutting and inflicting self-harm. We often end up making bad decisions in life as well because we get caught up in situations we can’t handle. We are not given proper guidance and often left alone. We live in a condition where there’s no room for us to feel safe and wanted. We get trapped with all the negative things that continuously damage our overall health. That’s all because the persons who are supposed to protect, love, and care for us are the ones who inflict tormenting pain and agony.

Choose To Be Better

As children, we know we have to be thankful for our parents’ sacrifices for us. We understand that there’s no greater love than what they can offer. We know that what they do only represents their love and affection towards us. Sometimes we might feel that things are not enough or quite too much. But our parents are doing everything they can to protect us from harm. However, if their parenting style becomes hurtful instead of helpful, we need to tell them. Some would think that correcting them would be disrespectful, but we have to let them know. We need to let go of the negative influence in our lives before we end up losing everything we have. We have to stop thinking that there’s this constant need for our parents. Because we might never know, perhaps it’s them who need us.

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To those some of you out there who are struggling with mean and toxic parents, you need to listen. The negative influence in our lives will continue to contribute a detrimental effect if we let it. We don’t need to suffer this way. Nobody is allowed to hurt us emotionally, physically, and mentally, even if that’s our parents or any members of the family. We need to become a better person not only for ourselves but for the people around us as well.

We can’t choose our parents. However, we can decide how they should impact our lives. We can still make changes in it. It should start with the acceptance that our parents are causing us emotional and mental trauma. Therefore, we need to do something about it.

Corrective Behaviours

Who really wants to talk about corrective behaviors? For most, they aren’t sure how to approach the subject and most dislike talking about it too. The trouble is that this is an important topic and being able to deal with it effectively is a must. When it comes to correcting someone’s behavior is it really a possibility? How can you change someone’s unruly behavior? If you are experiencing behavioral problems with your teenage children, may wish to seek advice from free online counseling.

How to Approach Someone to Talk about Their Behavior?

Corrective behavior is important but it’s not always easy to approach someone to talk about how they act. For example, when someone is hostile and aren’t really aware of it, you don’t just want to walk straight up to them and be insulting to them or overly negative; you have to find a fine balance. You must approach the person, talk calmly to them and then address the problems. Keeping things civil and calm will help ensure there are no hostilities and make the person you want to talk about their behavior a little more comfortable. If you make them uncomfortable about the situation it can trigger off behavior you don’t want to see.

Is It Possible For Youngsters To Change Their Behaviors?

Change is something most people hate and it’s not easy. You are used to acting a certain way and changing that mentality really changes who we are. For a youngster that’s really difficult because once they pick things up, it sticks with them forever and it never leaves. You cannot blame youngsters from swearing and using the bad language adults don’t want them to. The truth is, most of them have picked it up from adults and it’s hard to break the habit but it’s not impossible. Corrective behavior is a simple idea and can actually be pretty effective too. Anyone can change if they want to and put their minds to it. Online counseling may help you get your teenage child back on track. check it here!

There Are Two Sides to the Story


Someone’s behavior might be very unlike that you are used to or are happy with but you have to remember, that is all they know. You have to listen to their story, their side of the tale and find a way to help them overcome this wrong behavior. It’s not a marathon or a race; things can be done at a slow pace so that the child or youngster is comfortable and is able to change. If a youngster is swearing badly you can’t expect them to stop overnight; it’s going to take time and I really do mean time. You have to take baby steps in a sense and find simple ways to help them change their attitude and alter what they say. Instead of cursing or using bad words, find suitable alternatives that way the youngster is able to slowly adapt to the change. It’ll make things easier.

Correct Bad Behavior Safely

You cannot scream and shout at someone who is rude because that is bringing you down to their level and, in most cases, it’s just not effective. Instead, you have to find a less brutal or less in-your-face way to respond. You must approach the person you want to talk carefully and talk through your concerns and listen to them too. Once you do this, things will be far easier to deal with. For help on this matter, or for any help with child behavior, you should seek online counseling with a reputable company.

BetterHelp is an app that connects you with the best therapists at an affordable price. Medical groups have partnered with BetterHelp to provide you with the best therapy out there.

Out of the System

Who really knows what to do when a loved one is released from prison? When someone has been a part of the criminal system, it can be a nerve-wracking time to have that person come home. You are nervous and aren’t sure how to proceed and it can generally be a tough time for everyone. However, it’s necessary to ensure the environment is safe for yourself and the person coming home. You also want to ensure you do your part to make your child feel welcome once again. If you are experiencing behavioral problems with your teenage children, it could possibly be related to crimes they are committing. Therefore, you should seek advice from free online counseling.

What to Do When Your Child Comes Out Of the System?

If your child has been in jail or in a rehab program, there are going to be some anxious moments and you will be very worried about their support and what your role is. However, it’s time to take a deep breath and think carefully. Firstly, you might want to ensure the environment they come home to is suitable. For example, there should be no temptation for them whether it’s drink, drugs, or any bad influences around them. Secondly, you could help support them by meeting with group counselors and work with the authorities to ensure the environment is safe for everyone.

How to Help?

Depending on the severity of the crime or problem with your child, you might want to look at online counseling or self-help groups. For instance, if your child had a serious problem with drinking or drug use, it could be wise to look for a rehab program. If the child has already gone through such a program, you could look at support groups they can follow up with. There are truly lots of options to consider here and they can be pretty important in order to help keep your child on the right tracks and can hopefully rebuild their lives.

Can They Change Their Lives Around?

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You have to give someone the ability and belief to change their life around. For starters, you cannot be negative you have to find ways to help encourage them to remain positive and find ways to change, little by little. For example, instead of banning your friend or child from seeing their old group of friends, why not find an alternative? You could say they can come around to your home, under your supervision and ensure the child isn’t being badly influenced by them. There are lots of ways to help someone change their life and become a better person; it might take a while but anything is possible.

Leave the System Behind

Being constantly reminded of what happened will drag the person down. You cannot bring up the system time and time again because it’ll drive the child crazy and may feel inclined to repeat what they did. You don’t want history to repeat itself so it’s vital to find a way to help the person just released. There will be tough times ahead but if you are willing to work at it, anything is possible. Do your part and make the child feel welcomed and hopefully, it’ll help keep them on the right tracks. If you think your teenage child has committed or may be thinking about committing a crime, you should seek advice from online counseling with a reputable company.

When Your Child Is Aggressive And Hurts Others

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My day was packed and busy. Deadlines at work were upon me, and even if I was exhausted, the stress I was experiencing was the “good” kind. I was being productive and being in my element made me happy. My son was doing well in daycare and hubby was fulfilled at work. I mean, everything was going great for our family. Or so I thought.

Mrs. Smith, director of the daycare center where I bring little Mikey, rang my phone. I furrowed my eyebrows in surprise which then turned into fear in a split second. Is something wrong with Little Mikey??? Why is Mrs. Smith calling me? I had to excuse myself from the team meeting and went out the conference room.

“Hello, Ms. Taylor. I’m sorry for calling you at work. I know you’re busy, but this is important.” Mrs. Smith said. My heart beat faster than before. There is something wrong with my son. And why is she so calm? Is this the peaceful moment before the storm?

“Everything ok, Mrs. Smith? Is Mikey ok?” I asked in a panic.

“Mikey is fine. I’m sorry for making you worry. But there was an incident.” She said.

“What incident? What do you mean?” That was my reply.

“Mikey was involved in an altercation with another boy. It was on CCTV, he initiated aggressiveness and punched the other child.” She said sadly.

“Oh, my good lord! Is the other boy ok?” I asked with tears slowly forming in my eyes.

“Yes, yes he is. Just a bit shook up. I called because we need to talk about this in my office. Are you free now?” Mrs. Smith said.

I didn’t say I’m busy. How could I when my son’s behavior was unusual and appalling? Now, I’m stressed. And it’s not the “good” kind.

As I enter Mrs. Smith’s office, the children were there and so was the mother of the other boy. She looked pissed, and of course, I understand her fully. I waited for Mrs. Smith to facilitate and start the meeting.

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She started with “Kids can be very heavy-handed or that their acts can be too aggressive while they play. While it’s not their intention to hurt playmates, sometimes, it can happen. They would hit other kids, slap them, pinch, scratch, poke, bite, pull girls hair, kick while playing and shoving. At times, there is punching and knocking down. It doesn’t mean the other child is bad or a bully, but we need to curb this behavior because we want them to grow up as loving, caring and responsible adults.”

“I am so sorry for my son’s behavior and action,” I told the boy’s mother.

“Rest assured that this will not happen again and that I will bring Mikey to a therapist.” This time, I turned to Mrs. Smith. I said that because I can’t find an available center for Mikey at short notice and if his action would merit suspension from the center, my schedule would be compromised. But of course, the underlying issue here is for Mikey to learn that violence is never a solution to anything.

After I said all of that, the mother of the other child seems appeased, and she said that it was child’s play and can be let go. She left with her child, and Mrs. Smith told me to stay.

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“Ms. Taylor, I’m an OT or an occupational therapist. I’m not saying that Mikey is a naughty boy. He’s just a boy who’s curious and experimenting. But we need to focus on this and recondition his mind. We have to instill in him that hurting other is not good. DO NOT HIT. HITTING OTHERS WILL HURT THEM, AND IT’S A BAD THING TO DO. Every time he does that, we supplement with these words.” Mrs. Smith said.

“If Mikey continues with this behavior and we don’t teach him what’s right and wrong, he will grow up to be a bully. We cannot ignore this, and we also have to monitor his acts. Are we on the same page with this? I want to help Mikey.”

“I agree.” That was all I could say.

And so, I book an appointment with a child therapist to see what’s up with Mikey. I also took time off from work because I want my son to feel that I am “there” for him. Money is nothing compared to my son. If he grows up to be a young offender because I didn’t take the time to help him while he was young, then, it’s my fault.

When Your Child Learns To Cheat And Lie

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“Wow, that looks good on you.” I complimented my 18-year-old with her new outfit.

She bought a pair of tattered jeans and a hanging top. They call it “cropped” top now, but back in the eighties when I was a teenager; we called “hanging” blouse back then since you can see the belly button. I smiled a bit as I recalled my “young and free” days. And now I look at my daughter and I see myself in her.

“Did you get a pay bump?” The outfit must have cost her at least $50 bucks, and she only earns $3.50 an hour at the coffee shop where she works. She managed a quick “Uhm” before she stepped out of the house.

I assumed that she’s been working hard to be buying a lot of things for herself lately. Not that I can’t afford to buy her stuff, but I always teach all my children the value of money, perseverance and hard work. It makes me proud to see her like this – empowered, independent, and responsible. I feel a little accomplished because that’s my child. She’s partly the way she is because I raised her to be such. Little did I know what was happening right under my nose, and I never in a million years taught it is possible.

Lying, Cheating, and Stealing – What’s the difference? NONE.

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Her teacher called me at home and asked if we could meet at a local coffee shop. This can’t be good, I said to myself. Why did she want to meet with me away from school? What is going on here? I asked her what the meeting was all about and she just said – it’s about your daughter. With a lot of questions going on my mind, I agreed to meet with her an hour later.

She started with “I caught Tina cheating, but I didn’t report her to the school administrator because it will jeopardize her college application at NYU.” My heart dropped and literally, my face was white.

“Come again?” I heard her right, but I wanted to be sure if she was telling me the truth or not. Is she for real?

“I said Tina, your daughter, cheated. Well, technically, she did.” My daughter’s teacher said again.

“What happened?” I asked.

Apparently, the reason why my daughter has a lot of extra cash is that she’s been selling term papers, book reports, and other requirements like that for other students. It is illegal and could merit her expulsion from the school. I was so lost and confused from what I heard.

“But as I said, I didn’t push through. I’d hate for this mistake to define Tina when I know she is a very promising young girl.” I could kiss her teacher right now and hug her real tight. All I could manage at that coffee shop was a firm grip on her hand and countless “thank-you.”

It is rare to get an opportunity to redeem yourself, especially in cases like this.

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“I do ask for something, as sort of community service, though. If Tina agrees to help me this summer and tutor underprivileged kids in our center, I will consider this as her “punishment.” Not reporting this to the school authorities puts me at risk, as well, but this can devastate Tina’s future, and I can’t that do that to her. One mistake must not define who we are as a person. I want to give her a chance.” When she said that, I just burst out crying. She comforted me, and after an hour of rambling, we parted ways.

When I reached home, my daughter was there, and the look on her face said it all.

“You could have destroyed your future for a lousy $200, Ti. What was going on your mind? I didn’t teach you to behave this way.” I told her.

“I am so sorry, mom.” My daughter said.

“Tell that to yourself. I’m not the one who was close to losing her future for $200.” And then, I went to my room.

I had a very long talk with my husband about what happened to Tina that night, and we confronted her the next day. We both decided that she must make amends, return all the money she got from her side business, and assist her teacher in the community thing. She’s also grounded. I don’t know when it will be lifted, for now. We also booked an appointment with a family therapist where we can all effectively communicate our inner feelings and thoughts.

With all my heart and soul, I hope it’s not too late for my daughter. I wish for her to learn the lesson. In life, there are no shortcuts. It’s never ok to cheat, lie, or steal.

The Avoidant Personality Disorder: Know The Basics

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I usually feel tense or nervous. I feel awkward or out of place in social situations. I won’t get involved with people until I’m certain they like me. I worry a lot that people may not like me. A lot of things seem dangerous to me that don’t bother most people. I keep to myself even when there are other people around.

If these realizations have been bothering you, then maybe you have avoidant personality disorder.

The World Health Organization marked three distinctive characteristics of a person with avoidant personality disorder (AVPD). This includes feelings of tension and apprehension, insecurity, and inferiority.

Persons with this psychiatric condition are often associated with having social anxiety and dependent personality disorder. As the name suggests, they have difficulty in socializing with other people because of the fear of getting ridiculed, criticized or put into an embarrassing situation. At the same time, they also desire to form a relationship with another person because of dependency needs.

What is like living with AVPD?

Marie, 20 years old, has been living with her boyfriend Jake for 6 months now but with Marie’s AVPD, Jake is already on the verge of giving up. Jake recounts that its very difficult to understand her at times. “We tried to talk her concerns and issues but she would take it as shaming or rejection. This is getting so tiring already.”

With AVPD, persons tend to focus on a single concern while ignoring priorities. They are pre-occupied with self-loathing and self-victimization issues. They perceive everything that is going on around them are directed to their existence. That’s why they avoid going to parties or large group gathering because they have this constant perception that they are socially inept. Some AVPD individuals have a hard time forming or maintaining a healthy and lasting relationship because of the passive-aggressive behaviors. Their partners need to have longer patience, awareness, and understanding about their condition in order to help them.

If the AVDP person is working, it can be very hard for them to stay on the job. They are easily disappointed and can get into trouble with other employees because of wrongful interpretations of issues, inability to handle stress in the work setting, and even inability to provide productive work.

Cause of AVPD

Just like any mental health condition, personality disorders do not only take one causal factor to make it happen. There is an interplay of several factors that contributed to the development of AVPD. Psychologists and psychiatrists believed that it has something to do with social, environmental land psychological upbringing. These are called trigger factors to a predetermined genetic and biologic individual who is at risk to develop AVPD. When a child is raised in an environment where he or she is constantly humiliated or criticized, there is a big possibility that their personalities can be altered and then constructed to have all the features of AVDP in later life. Statistically, the condition accounts for 2-6% of the general population and is equally present in both genders.

Treatment options

The good news about personality disorders is that they are treatable. In the case of Marie and Jake, they are willing to mend and make things work for them. They are undergoing a series of therapies to help them both go through this. Aside from doing research online about websites that provide therapy services, Marie is also attending an individual therapy session to focus the interventions to herself. The goal of the therapy is to help the person verbalize their concerns about communicating with other people, confront those worries directly, helping them find the right resources or methods to allay their fears, helping them with stress management, and slowly introducing them to the social circle until they become more comfortable with social gatherings and in dealing with criticism.

Source: thenetdoctor.com

With regards to medications, they can be given with antidepressants and anxiolytics to help control depression and lower down anxiety levels.

Bottom line is, the earlier the condition is managed the better. The complications of AVPD leans toward substance abuse and addiction in the later stages as the condition continues to paralyze the person in the social dimension.