What are vital points to keep in mind when trying to discipline your child? Counselors often get to talk to frustrated parents who are looking for a magic weapon or a powerful parenting technique that will work effectively and turn their defiant child into the obedient angel that you wish they would become.
The truth is, there is no magic weapon at all – no weapon that will instantly eliminate your child’s defiant problems. However, one crucial point is to keep in mind if you desire a discipline technique to work. The most significant key to productive parenting is regularity or consistency.
Parents who do not consistently perform discipline will have more difficulty and experience more defiance problems in the long run. If you cannot follow through with restraint and regulation, this will convey a message to your child that he can keep in doing what he does even if they get in trouble and nothing unpleasant will happen to him. It makes him feel that it’s totally fine to break your rules.
We are actually sending the same message to our kids when we are not applying consistency in terms of our anticipations and rules. Also, they will have a tough time making sense of the confusing messages that we send them. This form of parenting might result in us parents breaking our own rules more often in the long term. Why? Because the first time your child came home 30 minutes late, nothing happened, as you bent your rules. Perhaps the week after, he’s going to do it again, hoping that you’ll be in the same lenient mood when he comes home. Inconsistency results in drained, devastated parents who do not comprehend why their kid is not the polite, well-bred angel they hoped he would be.
If you are among the parents who are presently raising a defiant child and struggling to manage his manners, family counselors are the best professionals to seek. They aim to work with you to develop a parenting technique that works for your child eventually. They will also discuss various challenges that you might have encountered (or not) as parents and help you learn some suitable strategies for you to apply to your child.
How To Deal With Your Defiant Child
The combination of frustrated parents and defiant children goes hand in hand, like peanut butter and jelly. Perhaps. One thing is sure, though – there is no scarcity of suggestions and recommendations for managing your defiant child. Some believe that a sensitive method, such that the parents would literally implore and beg until their child hears them out. Other parents lecture their kids about ‘how mom used to do it using a firm hit to the behind. But precisely just what is the perfect method to use to deal with a defiant child?
Simple Tips To Deal With The Defiant Child
Consistency Is Key. It is vital to note that it took months or years for your child to develop his present behavior and manner of interacting with other people, so it will take time to modify these patterns. By practicing regularity, you can accelerate the process and develop quicker, more permanent modifications of your disobedient child. A with the rest of the parenting techniques, this tip will not work efficiently if parents do not stick to it 100% of the entire time.
Keep Calm And Move On. Your defiant child is frequently just consuming your energy. A rebellious child usually does not feel emotionally controlled or connected at the moment. It may feel like the rebellious child acts out only to be rude to you, but this is most likely the scenario. For example, a rebellious child refuses to dress up in the morning. He doesn’t act like this because he wants you to be late for your daily office work. A potential explanation for this is that he is hungry or drained and isn’t mature enough to convey this to you verbally.
Stay Positive. Your rebellious child permanently hears you rant about his wrongdoings – at home, school, and everywhere else. He often hears unpleasant comments about the way he acts and the consequences of his negative actions. Although they’re all negative, your child has adjusted to the fact that he can triumphantly gain all the attention with his disobedience. It’s time to change the emphasis not on your child’s unpleasant behaviors but towards his pleasant ones. Please focus on the positive behaviors that he shows because you know too well about his negative behaviors. And all that energy that you used up stressing the negative – pour it out when you praise your child for the small bouts of good that your child is showing.
Try these simple tips when you are trying to manage your defiant child. And while you’re doing so, keep your cool, focus your time and effort on your child’s pleasing behaviors, and most importantly, be consistent. We truly hope all these will work for you!