What If Your Teenager Doesn’t Want To Go To Counseling?

 

 

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Some teenagers are excited to visit a counselor. They love talking to an impartial adult who can help with their various problems. However, not all teenagers agree with counseling, and persuading a hesitant teenager to go to a counselor feels like a never-ending struggle.

This constant struggle can leave us, parents, wondering, “Do I need to force my teen to see a counselor? Can I bribe my way to him? Or should I surrender to the idea of counseling for him?”

If you are suspicious that your teenager is suffering from a mental health condition, substance use concern, or behavioral problem, then treatment is vital. You can try numerous things to help your teenager get the treatment he needs from a counselor.

Forcing Your Teen To Visit The Counselor

A young adult who is obliged to get counseling help won’t probably be determined to change. Even if he is hauled to their consultations, they won’t likely open up about their concerns – at least not constructively. But it doesn’t mean that you should not make it obligatory for him to go to his consults.

Often, experienced counselors are capable of making a teenager feel more relaxed after several visits. Sometimes, teens that express their hatred for counseling or claim that they are fine without it might begin to open up to a counselor. It may just be that your teenager doesn’t want to admit to you that he actually likes to go to counseling.

Certainly, there may be moments when your young loved one requires help, whether they approve or not. If there is a danger of harming himself or others, do call 911 or bring him to the emergency department. If he is presenting with dangerous behavior, having him treated must be obligatory.

Telling Your Teenager About Counseling

If you believe that your teen can benefit from counseling, the manner you tell him about it is vital. The initial conversation that you are going to have will most likely set the stage for your young adult’s approach towards counseling.

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It’s not unusual for teenagers to be shy about their problems, and this could make it difficult for them to confess that they are struggling. So you mustn’t send him a message that could cause them to feel embarrassed. Please do not suggest that your teenager is insane or not intelligent enough to decide for himself. Rather, tell him why you believe that he can benefit from talking to a seasoned and trusted counselor. Allow your teen to ask questions and hear him out when he expresses his opinions about it.

It can be more engaging to him if you say, “I was wondering if it would be beneficial for you to be talking to someone other than me.” Or you could say, “I don’t know all the answers to your questions, so I was wondering if you would agree that talking to someone professional would work for you.”

If you’ve had some experience with counseling yourself, telling your teenager about it would most probably eliminate the stigma and further normalize the situation.

Discussing It With Your Teenager’s PCP

Whatever your concerns are about your teen, whether it’s depression, anxiety, ADHD, or PTSD, the initial step would be to talk to your teenager’s primary physician, who is very much capable of evaluating his needs and can help assess whether or not he would improve with counseling. If additional management is needed, the physician can pinpoint the proper regimen and professionals for your teen. And though your teen is hesitant to go through these regimens, knowing your options is very important.

Your teen may not welcome your suggestions about how a counselor can help him. Still, they will probably listen to their physician, who he believes can explain how counseling can help and how treating him can manage his symptoms.

What To Do When Your Teenager Declines Counseling

If your young adult does not want to see a counselor, do not worry. Here are some helpful options that might work.

  • Make a written contract with your teenager. If it’s a minor concern that you’re worried about, make a contract with your teen, both agreeing that he attend one or two counseling sessions before he decides whether or not he will continue his visits regularly.
  • Find A Counselor By Yourself Without Your Teenager. Usually, parent training is effective in helping your teen. A counselor is capable of educating you on how to instruct your young adult. If he is aware that you are talking to a counselor about him, he might be curious and interested in telling his side of the story.

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  • Talk To Your Teenager’s Guidance Counselor. Ask the school counselor if there are available services that your teen can have access to. A teenager who is hesitant to consult a qualified professional outside of school might be more comfortable talking with his school counselor.
  • Consider Counseling Online. Occasionally, teenagers who are embarrassed or reluctant to speak with a counselor personally will perhaps benefit from online counseling. Although online counseling is not effective for everyone, you must talk to a counselor or your teen’s doctor about the possible advantages and disadvantages before starting with the sessions.

 

 

Disciplining The Defiant Child – Tips From A Counselor

 

 

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What are vital points to keep in mind when trying to discipline your child? Counselors often get to talk to frustrated parents who are looking for a magic weapon or a powerful parenting technique that will work effectively and turn their defiant child into the obedient angel that you wish they would become.

The truth is, there is no magic weapon at all – no weapon that will instantly eliminate your child’s defiant problems. However, one crucial point is to keep in mind if you desire a discipline technique to work. The most significant key to productive parenting is regularity or consistency.

Parents who do not consistently perform discipline will have more difficulty and experience more defiance problems in the long run. If you cannot follow through with restraint and regulation, this will convey a message to your child that he can keep in doing what he does even if they get in trouble and nothing unpleasant will happen to him. It makes him feel that it’s totally fine to break your rules.

We are actually sending the same message to our kids when we are not applying consistency in terms of our anticipations and rules. Also, they will have a tough time making sense of the confusing messages that we send them. This form of parenting might result in us parents breaking our own rules more often in the long term. Why? Because the first time your child came home 30 minutes late, nothing happened, as you bent your rules. Perhaps the week after, he’s going to do it again, hoping that you’ll be in the same lenient mood when he comes home. Inconsistency results in drained, devastated parents who do not comprehend why their kid is not the polite, well-bred angel they hoped he would be.

If you are among the parents who are presently raising a defiant child and struggling to manage his manners, family counselors are the best professionals to seek. They aim to work with you to develop a parenting technique that works for your child eventually. They will also discuss various challenges that you might have encountered (or not) as parents and help you learn some suitable strategies for you to apply to your child.

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How To Deal With Your Defiant Child

The combination of frustrated parents and defiant children goes hand in hand, like peanut butter and jelly. Perhaps. One thing is sure, though – there is no scarcity of suggestions and recommendations for managing your defiant child. Some believe that a sensitive method, such that the parents would literally implore and beg until their child hears them out. Other parents lecture their kids about ‘how mom used to do it using a firm hit to the behind. But precisely just what is the perfect method to use to deal with a defiant child?

Simple Tips To Deal With The Defiant Child

Consistency Is Key. It is vital to note that it took months or years for your child to develop his present behavior and manner of interacting with other people, so it will take time to modify these patterns. By practicing regularity, you can accelerate the process and develop quicker, more permanent modifications of your disobedient child. A with the rest of the parenting techniques, this tip will not work efficiently if parents do not stick to it 100% of the entire time.

Keep Calm And Move On. Your defiant child is frequently just consuming your energy. A rebellious child usually does not feel emotionally controlled or connected at the moment. It may feel like the rebellious child acts out only to be rude to you, but this is most likely the scenario. For example, a rebellious child refuses to dress up in the morning. He doesn’t act like this because he wants you to be late for your daily office work. A potential explanation for this is that he is hungry or drained and isn’t mature enough to convey this to you verbally.

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Stay Positive. Your rebellious child permanently hears you rant about his wrongdoings – at home, school, and everywhere else. He often hears unpleasant comments about the way he acts and the consequences of his negative actions. Although they’re all negative, your child has adjusted to the fact that he can triumphantly gain all the attention with his disobedience. It’s time to change the emphasis not on your child’s unpleasant behaviors but towards his pleasant ones. Please focus on the positive behaviors that he shows because you know too well about his negative behaviors. And all that energy that you used up stressing the negative – pour it out when you praise your child for the small bouts of good that your child is showing.

Try these simple tips when you are trying to manage your defiant child. And while you’re doing so, keep your cool, focus your time and effort on your child’s pleasing behaviors, and most importantly, be consistent. We truly hope all these will work for you!