Parental Options For Out Of Control Teens Part 1

I’ve been there, and I know the feeling. My teenager was rebellious and utterly disrespectful at one point. He even ran away from home to prove a point. My son was 16 years old back then, and luckily, I made the right choice.

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I did something different at that time which angered my son to the core. He hated me for a very long time, but when he understood the reason behind my actions, he was grateful. My son is now 25 years old, has a stable job with opportunities to advance in his career, married, and a baby on the way. He is even planning to buy a small home for his family. My son – the offender at 16, the troubled teen, and the once lost boy; he is now a mature and responsible young man. It has been my dream for him since his birth.

 

I’m not saying that the things I will discuss here will work for you, but it worked for me. With that, here’s what parents can do with their 16-year-old teens (actually any age as long as he is a minor) who are out of control or who have run away from home. 

 

Teen Offense

 

Denying parental authority and running away from home are considered offenses, but not crimes. If this is a problem in your home, as parents, you can make the following sacrifices:

 

  • Report the child to the authorities
  • File a complaint in court
  • Have the child emancipated

 

If the parents wish to declare their teen as a “youth in crisis,” the judge can help them with that. The child will then be forced to return to his home, go to school, or get counseling, and will not be permitted to drive a vehicle. However, please note that the court of limited powers reinforces these orders. By law, holding a minor in detention is strictly prohibited. 

 

As of January 1, 2010, the legislation agreed to raise the age qualified for the Juvenile Court Jurisdiction to 17 years old. 

 

Police Response

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Teens running away from home is off the police’s jurisdiction. However, parents can report the incident to the authorities. The complaint should be written down with the following details: 

 

  • The dates concerning the incident
  • The behavior of the teen
  • Names of some possible concerned people
  • Their respective home address
  • Where the teen was last seen
  • A full description of your child

 

The police can do the following: 

 

  • Take note of the parents’ appearance
  • Check the family’s background for assaults and violence
  • Refer the case to concerned agencies and check for records
  • Provide the parents statements of the relevant agencies and persons
  • Encourage parents to file youth crisis petition

 

Once the report is in and assessed, the police department will immediately update their database, inform all dispatched units and make a public notice of the incident. If the child is found, police are obliged to notify the parents at once. 

 

However, before notifying the parents, the police should ascertain if the child is safe once he is returned home. The police will then check the following factors:

 

  • The parents’ wellbeing upon reporting the incident and learning about the child’s condition
  • If there is an existence of abuse, violence, and neglect in the family
  • The reasons behind why the teen has run away (private interview)

 

Once the parents are informed about the location of the child, the officer will do the following: 

 

  • Accompany the teen to his home, to another place wherein the teen will stay if not with his parents or a temporary shelter.
  • Refer the kid to Probate Court 
  • Hold the teen in protective custody for a maximum of 12 hours while the department finds a suitable place for him. 
  • He will not be held in jail. 
  • Take the child to the concerned agencies, whether he likes it or not. 
  • Refer the child to a bureau concerning the youth.

 

If neither of the actions above is appropriate, the case will then be referred to Juvenile Court.

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We will stop right here, and I will let you process the information you’ve read. As for me, I did what I had to do with my son – I put him in jail. I called the police and I got him arrested. It’s not one of my proudest moments, but my son is a better person now because of what I did. He has bounced around from one agency to another until the courts ruled that he had to man up and do certain things, or else he will be put in prison for a long time. I think that was my son’s turning point.

 

My husband and I got divorced. I guess he didn’t like the idea of me pushing our son to the authorities. But when our son held his first job, his father asked me out for lunch, and he apologized. It was a proper closure for us both. 

 

Anyway, watch out for the part two of this article. I hope you gained insights from my personal experience, and from the provisions of the law.

Contributing To The Delinquency Of A Minor (Can Break Up A Marriage)

Contributing to the delinquency of a minor (CDM) is a crime charged to an adult tolerating or encouraging a minor to do a criminal act. The person is a minor if he is below 18 years old. The crime committed by the minor is part of “juvenile delinquency,” and since the person who committed the crime is underage, the case will be handled by a separate criminal justice system for minors.

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I am focusing my thoughts on this topic because I know someone who blames herself for the separation of her parents. When she was younger, she used to be a juvenile delinquent. At age 14, she ran away from home. When she was 15, she dropped out of school and lived on the streets. As soon as she stepped 16, just for her to come back home, her mother lied to the police for her. Eventually, the police found out about what her mother did, and it destroyed her. Her father also left her mother because of that incident.

 

Her parents have told her repeatedly that it’s not her fault, but no matter what they say, she always felt bad about it. She put on her big girl panties and redeemed herself from being a juvenile delinquent, but her parents never patched up. It made her guilty, and because of that she suffered from depression. It took her three years to cope with the reality, and she is now getting help for her mental health issue.  

 

Contributing To The Delinquency Of A Minor: Elements Of A Crime

 

By law, an adult assisting a minor’s urges to do an illegal act is also committing a crime. The impact of the action will depend on the participation of the adult on the crime committed by the teen or child. A few things are contributing to the delinquency of a minor (CDM), and it’s called elements.  

 

  • The adult failed to act on a duty. 
  • This act caused a minor to remain a juvenile court dependent.
  • The minor is a delinquent.
  • He or she is habitually a truant.

 

CDM Laws Are Different Per State.

 

In some states, adults charged with CDM are often the parents, the legal guardians and those who have lawful custody of the minor. Strangers can also contribute to the delinquency of a minor if they are rooting for the teen or child or assisting him to commit a crime. The term “contributing” will depend on the participation of the adult in the criminal act. 

 

Some states require the intention of the offender in committing a crime, regardless if the CDM offender is aware of the child’s age. However, other states are allowing “mens rea” as an affirmative defense. 

 

CDM Laws Per State

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Cal. Pen Codes 272 (California): Punishment is one-year imprisonment and a fine of $2500 for a delinquent act. 

 

Florida Statute 827.04 (Florida): The First-degree misdemeanor is punishable by one-year imprisonment and $1000 fine. 

 

Ohio Revised Code 2919.24 (Ohio): “Unruly child” is referring to a minor who commits a crime. Each day that a violation occurs will be prosecuted separately. 

 

Provision Of Alcohol To Minors Versus CDM

 

Adults providing alcohol to minors which will then lead to a delinquency act are chargeable with CDM. A separate case regarding giving alcohol to kids below 21 years old will also be imposed. This sanction will depend on state laws. The defendant has the option to plead guilty to a lesser punishment, but still, the prosecutors have the power to choose what crime to charge the offenders.

 

Exemptions Of CDM

 

In some instances, there are exemptions to CDM:

 

  • Private premises and with parental consent (in 29 states)
  • Exclusive location even without approval from the parent (6 states)
  • Religious matters (25 states)
  • Medical purposes (16 states)
  • Work-related to the Government (4 states)
  • Educational reasons (7 states)
  • Selling of alcohol with parental consent (11 states)

 

Getting Legal Help On CDM Cases

 

The CDM elements vary between jurisdictions that is why it is advisable that you still seek advice from a counsel in your defense. A qualified lawyer knows certain situations and cases and possible charges, and can give you the best possible argument. Make sure that all the necessary details are disclosed to your counsel for him to build a strong defense on your behalf.

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CDM cases can be very stressful, but this can be handled successfully by hiring the right attorney to represent you. My friend’s mother made her choice. She suffered much for her daughter, and it was a decision she had to make. It changed her life, the relationship with her husband and her future. But that’s how life is for her, and it makes you think – if she didn’t lie for her daughter, whose life would be destroyed now? 

Parental Options For Out Of Control Teens Part 2: Youth In Crisis Law, Emancipation, And Petitions

This article is all about options for parents if their teens are runaways and out of control. If you haven’t read Parental Options For Out-Of-Control Teens Part 1, I suggest you read that first before this one. This article will make a lot more sense after you’re done with the first one.

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Youth In Crisis Law

 

Youth in crisis law states that the Juvenile Court shall assume the responsibility of teens 16 to 17 years of age. These teens couldn’t be kept under their parents’ control and have them run away from home. Teens in “youth crisis” allow:

 

  • Referral of problematic teens to court
  • Court orders the child to get involved in community services and other related activities
  • The court can impose legal orders

 

(I applied the youth in crisis law with my son.)

 

Defining Youth In Crisis

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Youth in Crisis involves teen ages 16 to 17 years old. These kids:

 

  • Have run away from home within the last two years without a valid cause
  • Are beyond parental control
  • Have four inexcusable absences in a month

 

Referral

 

The child shall be referred to the court, and a petition must be filed by the parent or a legal guardian. 

 

The petition should include the following details: 

 

  • The full name of the child, gender, birthday, and present residence
  • The guardian’s full name and address and the reason for referral
  • The action expected of the petitioner from the court

 

Court Action

 

By law, the chief administrator needs to impose policies in determining the eligibility of the youth for court supervision. Upon learning of the qualification, the court can enforce the following: 

 

  • Denying the teen to drive a vehicle for a period
  • Mandating the kid to get involved with community services
  • Commanding the youth to attend education program accredited by the court
  • Instructing the child to undergo substance or mental health therapy services

 

Exploring Emancipation

 

Emancipation allows minors to have the same rights as the adults. It also frees the parents from their responsibility on the child including financial support and guidance. It takes place automatically when the child turns 18, but for minors, it allows them to get into new relationships. They can get married and build a family of their own. 

 

Petitions

 

Petitions for emancipation can be filed in Juvenile courts where the child is located.  The said petition must be duly signed under court oath. Included as requirements are as follows:

 

  • Details of the child on why he was submitted to the court
  • The child’s full name, gender, birthdate, and address
  • The guardian’s full name and address 
  • The petitioner’s full name and their relationship to the child

 

Court Procedures

 

The post-petition system’s outcome will depend if the filing is done in Juvenile courts or Probate. Probate courts hold case hearings within 30 days upon receiving the petition. The judge must first order an investigation. He will also have to appoint a lawyer who will represent the child in court. The judge will then request for an assessment from a mental health professional if it is necessary for the case. This request can also be conducted by the teen’s guardian, if necessary. 

What Kind Of Parent Calls The Police On Their Child? Part 2

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Do you want an honest answer to that question? What do you think prompts some parents to call the authorities on their crazy, vicious and crime-prone kids? If their lives are at stake, if they see their violent child is insane, and if their other children are going to get hurt, then, IT IS UNDERSTANDABLE TO CALL THE POLICE ON YOUR TROUBLED TEEN. It’s not your fault that they are like that, and so don’t blame yourself.

 

I heard a story from my mother years ago about her co-worker. The woman divorced her husband because he called the police on the 16-year-old daughter. You ask, what did the daughter do, right? Well, she beat up her 14-year-old brother who was in the spectrum. The boy had autism. It was bad.

 

The whole situation was disheartening. No wonder the parents saw it fit to divorce. But was it the right thing to do? What about their daughter? The abused son was hurting too, was he not? And he has autism too. He needed help. It’s just so messed up and I wouldn’t dream of it happening to our family

Source: pxhere.com

Phoning The Police Should Be The Last Option.

 

Calling the authorities should be a parent’s last optionwhen their child is violent and destructive. They should try to settle the situation first since they are the best people who can deal with their child’s bad behavior. But when it goes out of hand, like physical violence and mouthing threats, police intervention is necessary. 

 

The 911 dispatch receives numerous distress calls involving parent-child conflicts. It is often that the aggressor is the child who is suffering mental health disorder like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD, or drug and alcohol abuse. In cases like this, instead of sending the child to prison, the accused teen will be admitted to a mental institution. 

 

It is also true that if the offenders are below 18 years old, they will be sent to mental health institutions instead. But whatever the reason may be for the distress call, most parents regret doing so afterwards. You should not regret it because sending your child to jail or a psychiatric facility will shape him up. Well, most of them get a second chance in life, at least. 

 

Youth Services: 50% Of The Kids Are Angry, While The Other 50 Is Grateful

 

Most of the kids who were taken away by the police felt resentment towards their parents. This leads to the strained relationship between the parent and the child. They are initially scared of what will happen to them, and then they feel abandoned afterwards. The kids will also develop feelings of hatred towards their parents. They are excluding the fact that they have become harmful not only to themselves but to others as well. 

 

However, there are also other kids who appreciate their parents’ action in the end. These are the kids who saw the positive result of their parent’s sacrifices by sending them to jail. 

 

How To Prevent This From Happening

 

To avoid this heartbreaking scenario, here are some things to remember: 

 

If you are witnessing borderline mood swings from your child, then it is best that you act on it immediately. Contact mental health experts if you have suspicion that your child is experiencing psychological problems.

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What to Do If You Need To Call The Police: 

 

  • Stay calm and provide the important facts to the 911 dispatcher.
  • Be specific. Tell the dispatcher if your child needs mental health care services.
  • Make sure that you tell the dispatcher everything before the authorities arrive at the scene. 

 

Once the authorities arrive, brief the officer of what happened. Include all details such as if the child is taking medications. You can also ask some tips on how to control the kid in severe situations. Make sure that you know the arresting officer’s name.

 

Calling the police on your child is very hard. But things are needed to be done for the betterment of everybody. The process is not easy at all, but you need to protect yourself and your family. The people around you must be protected from your violent child as well. 

 

If having a troubled child will cause issues in your marriage, then it’s something that you and your spouse need to discuss. Divorcing at a time like this will not help everyone in the family. Maybe for the time being, it would be best to maintain a unified front until such time when the child is stable. By then, you can talk about pushing through with the divorce or not.

What Kind Of Parent Calls The Police On Their Child? Part 1

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Parents calling the authorities to have their kids arrested is entirely off. Sending their most precious child away to jail is something most parents would never do. However, such violent incidents are already taking its toll. With what the teens are capable of doing these days, it’s not a wonder if they’ll become criminals when they grow older. 

 

It is never easy, but your kid’s destructive behavior has reached the limits. Soon enough, he will put other people’s lives at risk if you don’t do something about it. Well, some parents did the unbearable. Below are stories of families who called the police and had their child arrested.

 

Did it break up their marriage? It almost did, but it’s not about them. The whole issue is about their troubled child.

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Jane and Michael Smith – Bullying Can Turn A Happy Child To A Troubled Teen

 

Michael Smith was once a happy child. But the conflict started when some kids at his school started bullying him. Since then, he changed into a temperamental boy who is often moody and angry. He started hanging out with the wrong crowd and later, breaking the rules in school and at home. 

 

The calling of the authorities came about when Michael was so enraged with his mother for not allowing his friends to visit. The boy punched holes on their walls which alarmed Jane. Police did not arrest him, but the visit served as a warning. 

 

After that incident, Michael ran away. Days later Jane received news that Michael was arrested for a gun pellet incident. He was released on bail. After that disgraceful event, another situation occurred. Michael was requested to attend a family occasion which he didn’t like. He got so angry and attempted to hurt his mother. Jane called 911, and the authorities came. 

 

At that time, Michael was furious with his mother that he declared that he wouldn’t talk to her as long as he lives. As a consequence of his action, he was sentenced to an open-custody institution for several months. 

 

Now, the worst is over. Michael is back for good behavior and has already graduated high school. He has a girlfriend and a stable job. All his mother’s pain and sacrifice finally paid off. Michael is grateful. 

 

Sue and John Clark –Chronic Anxiety Disorder Makes A Teen Problematic

 

John, for some reason, turned into a bitter and angry child. He’s always fighting with his brother, refuses to go to school and is keeping everyone on their toes at night. The teen was then diagnosed with chronic anxiety disorder. His family sought help from a child psychologist, but to no avail, since the said therapist was fully booked. A crisis worker once suggested that John should be locked up in a psychiatric facility for treatment, but the family refused to comply. 

 

It was until one morning when Sue finally gave up. John threatened his mother who was about to leave the house for work that day. The teen said he would trash the house down once she steps out. Sue, feeling scared and trapped, called the authorities. 

 

Sue felt guilty for her actions, but something had to be done. What she did was the best decision she ever made. Now, John is back to school and undergoing therapy. 

 

Tony and Joe Hill – An Autoimmune Disease Affects A Teen’s Mental Health

 

At 16, Joe was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that affected his nervous system. His mental ability decreased significantly, as well. With this, he stopped attending his classes, was angry all the time, and also taking drugs. Joe became a slob too and didn’t take a bath most days. One day, Tony (Joe’s father), had to call 911 because of his wrongdoings. 

 

The authorities were called to assist in an incident which took place during a family event. Joe cut himself in front of his siblings, and because of what happened, he was confined in a hospital instead of in jail.

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Similar incidents happened after that and Tony reports his son whenever he gets out of control. The police would put him in jail wherein Joe would hurt himself while confined in bars. It was sad.

 

Joe was in and out of rehabilitation centers and psychiatric institutions. With the lack of facilities and equipment, his treatment was always cut short. He was also denied housing because of his behavior. 

 

 

If you were Jane, Sue, and Tony, would you call the police on your teens? This situation is not ideal at all, but if your violent teen, you, and his siblings are in danger, there’s no other option. It is the last resort, then. 

 

The next part of this article will talk about the facts on calling the police on your kids and more.