The Truth About “Rebellious” Behavior

We’ve all seen it in the movies or on TV. “It’s just a phase.” The rebellious teenager is screaming at their parents, coming home late, and raising all types of hell. Coming from a rocky childhood, I was quite the troublesome teenager myself.

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Regardless, I managed to get my life and relationships together since then. It still doesn’t change the fact that I did go through a lot of problems; problems that may not have been so bad if the adults around me understood me better and if I knew how to communicate with them properly. Allow me to share some of my experiences. Here are some things that supposed “troubled teens” are trying to tell you.

 

Programs aren’t Always Well-Meaning

All over the world, there’s some form of a program intended to “fix” the behavior of rebellious teenagers. While it may seem well-meaning at first, many of them are not strictly regulated. Some camps and programs end up not helping the child at all. 

 

Some of them enforce stricter-than-necessary rules. Some aren’t even equipped for medical or health emergencies that may come up. Others may lack genuine compassion and empathy to connect with children in the camp properly. While it may sound good on paper, not many of us seem to have enjoyed our experience really, nor did we learn much from it.

 

We Need You to Listen

Often, the reason we act out is that we feel like you’re mistreating us. Admittedly, there are times where we’re in the wrong. There are times when we refuse to believe that we’re wrong. However, there are also times when we feel like some compromise could have at least been made.

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Many of us feel as if we’re being cuddled too much; treated like children. We feel like it’s us vs. you, instead of all of us being on the same side. We’re not asking that you let us do whatever we want, but sometimes, maybe something can be worked out. Good communication is key.

 

Moreover, there are times when we need you to listen even if we don’t say anything. What I mean is we aren’t always the best in expressing ourselves – we’re still learning. There are going to be times that we need you to kind of feel out what we’re thinking and feeling. We need to know that you’re there for us, even when we mess up.

 

We Take it Out on Ourselves Too

I’m not sure if this is something everyone goes through. However, a lot of the teens I’ve met and stayed with all have this in common. When parents or guardians call us out for our behavior, we might show anger and rebellion to them. 

 

Likewise, we also take it out on ourselves. Instead of finding a way to solve whatever issues we may have, we tend to fixate on ourselves being wrong or not good enough. When talking to your teens about something they might have done wrong, try to talk to them calmly. Remind them that making mistakes is okay, but that we also have to be held accountable for them. Do this constructively, not spitefully.

 

It’s Partially Biological

If you try hard to think back, I’m sure you had a somewhat “rebellious phase” too. Whether you acted on the urges you had or not, you still had the calls. Some researchers have shown that this may have a biological aspect to it. Hormones are at high levels. 

 

Similarly, teens are taught to be more productive later in the day, rather than early in the morning. Being forced to get up soon and go to school may add to us being irritable.

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Experiences Stick With Us

Although some of his theories have been debunked, Freud was right about at least one thing: childhood experiences stick with us. Some of us never grow out of our “rebellious phase.” 

 

Adolescence plays a massive role in eventual molding adults. Values, habits, and routines established then affect us in some way into adulthood. It’s important to help your teens get a grip on what they’re going through. You may even try having a relationship counseling with your teens to understand more one another.

 

Never let them feel like you’re against them and that they’re facing their struggles on their own. Even if their issues may seem small to adults, young and naïve teenagers see it as a huge struggle to overcome already – and they have the right to think so.

Woes Of A Single Parent: Disciplining Teenagers At Their Rebellious Stage

Being a parent, much more a single parent, is never a natural role. Your children will be your forever responsibility starting the minute they were born or even the day you realized you were expecting. While it is the hardest job one can get, it is also the most rewarding and most fulfilling of all. 

More often than not, the bearings and responsibilities of a single parent are way more massive than anyone. Single parents have to balance their attention, time, and energy to discipline their kids while making sure to keep a roof over their children’s heads and put food on the family table every day.  

If the hardships of having a baby or infant only involve changing diapers and feeding him, the challenges of having a teenager revolve around his or her curiosity about the world. Consider the latter as your sign of entering a new and another kind of parenting. 

Source: parentingsyrup.com

How would you know if your kid/s is/are on the rebellious stage? 

Teenagers are most commonly found at this stage of life.  Others would call this the teenage rebellion years. These years are when parents would notice the somewhat frequent ‘opposition’ of the child. This is the time when the child seems to be very attracted and at the same time overwhelmed of the world outside the home. 

Psychologists state that this stage occurs mostly in adolescents aged 9 to 13 years old. Children at this stage of rebellion would often challenge the authority of the parent. They are noticeably trying to be independent and do things the way they deem right.

Source: parenting-journals.com

Your teens will try to associate more with their peers. The worst thing that you may notice is the teen’s unexpected negative behavior and bad habits experimentation (such as smoking, drinking, maxing the curfew, even trying drugs). 

What is the proper way of disciplining them? 

As the sole head and light of the home, you have to practice the right leadership when it comes to disciplining your children. Your children comprise your team. Be your own home’s boss.

Be firm with your own decisions. If it’s already lights out, then it lights out. As the only parent left, you already know what your kid is yet to know and experience. Never hesitate to voice out some “No.” 

Don’t control them too much. Know your kids’ peers and let your child go out with them once in awhile. But never forget giving instructions such as keeping the phone with him or her all the time and reinforcing strict curfew times. Once in awhile, let your young teen’s peers hang out in your place so you could watch and observe your child’s social behavior at a safe distance.

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Have a regular family day. Consider going out with your kids even once or twice a month as if having a mini vacation. Your young teens will be more open to you. Treat them as your best friends for the day.

Give praises, compliments, and awards. Surprise your children whenever they do something right. Young teens would want to make a name for themselves too so why not start at your own home? Aside from being grateful, the thought of doing good just for the sake of it can be etched on their minds.

 

Your children are growing. In fact, they are already teenagers before you even realize it. Don’t wait for the worst thing to happen. You are the sole authority that matters to your kids. Practice command and proper control. 

Being a single parent is hard, yes. Moreover, you also need to be in charge of the financial, mental, physical, and emotional aspect of your home. But ranking them in priority, your children will always be in the first spots.

 

Ways Of Fraud And How To Prevent Becoming A Victim

With the never-ending improvement in technology, the strategy of thieves also evolved. Before robbery and theft are straightforward, some would pickpocket and grab your cash or cell phone then dash away. More desperate ones would use a deadly weapon to scare you. However, these past decades, the world has seen a digital form of theft.

 

Source: efirstbankblog.com

A 2017 study conducted by Javelin Strategy and Research found out that roughly 15.4 million of US consumers are victims of identity theft in one way or another, with a total estimate of 16 billion money loss to identity theft. These figures are steadily increasing yearly. The most effective route in order not to find ourselves as a victim to the ever famous identity theft is in fact, learning about the different ways the fraudsters were able to retrieve personal information and ways to prevent such. 

 

Phishing

Generating misleading emails that manipulate people to type in their confidential information usually it is pretending to be from a legitimate bank, health institution, credit card company, etc. 

 

Smishing 

The idea of the modus operandi is the same with phishing, but it is done through text messaging. This scam is becoming popular since more people are using their phones to access their bank accounts and credit cards. The text may resemble that of a financial institution asking for PIN number or email account password. Also, text messages might be sent as a personal message from someone to open their social media accounts. Upon clicking the URL, the software will retrieve your data.

Source: blog.nskinc.com

Wardriving 

Hacking into wireless networks and installing spyware. Wardriving would allow access to IP addresses, used devices and devices activity including usernames, password, and personal information. 

 

Keylogging 

It is a software installed by the hacker or a virus that records every keystroke done on a computer which can be utilized to gather data such as passwords, usernames, and social security information. 

 

Skimming 

Installation of the devices in ATM and gas pump card slots that will store credit/debit card information.

 

Companies

Hackers target large corporations and businesses databases to pull out stored financial or personal information of their customers and clients. 

 

PREVENTION TIPS

 

  • Cover your keypad when entering your pin number in the ATM 
  • Turn the card reader away from prying eyes
  • If someone seems too nosy or moves to close to you, leave and try accessing your account elsewhere. 
  • Make sure that website where you enter your data information is a secure site. The address is in their URL https:// and http://. The “s” means that the site is safe and encrypted. 
  • A secure site will have a closed padlock next to the domain name 
  • Do not click on any attachments in emails with unknown senders 
  • Utilize trusted browsers with phishing protection. This includes Firefox, Google Chrome, Internet Explorer and Edge. 
  • Be cautious with sites that have a pop-up and annoying advertisement. 
  • Be suspicious if someone is calling out of the blue and asks for your personal information. 
  • Avoid any special promotions and offer that is for a limited time and requires you to give out pertinent information.
  • Check the email address from reputable companies. The domain name should be that of the corporation’s name.

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If ever you have been a victim in any of these fraudulent activities and you need psychological support, BetterHelp is a good site that provides counseling services. 

 

What To Do If You Encountered Identity Theft Crime?

Due to the advancement in technology and the extensive usage of social media platforms to meet people and exchange of ideas and information, fraudsters and crooks are also using these technologies to deceit others.

Source: idtheftnightmare.com

Identity theft is at its all-time high. Many unknowing victims are devastated to find out that their credit line, credit cards, and hard earned money are used for financial trickery. They are the ones who suffer the repercussion even though they are innocent of the crime. It’s good that BetterHelp is able to provide services that can help individuals cope in distressing situations such as this.

 

With this modus operandi, each one of us should be wary of the habits that may seem harmless such as throwing our financial reports in the bins, unlocked mailbox, online shopping and giving out information as verification on the phone through a customer service representative.

 

When identity theft is suspected, following the recommended steps can mean a significant difference in containing the damage. Do not hesitate to take action. Don’t allow yourself to be part of the statistics that reported that only 1 of 10 identity theft victims report the incident to the police. The recommended recovery identity checklist includes these steps.

 

Act quickly is essential in recovering your identity back.

Abrupt reporting of the incident in your credit card issuer and banks will mean faster flag on your account to prevent further damage.

Source: creditsesame.com

Keep a physical copy of your accounts and details of your credit and debit card

A helpful reminder: store it in a secure place that can be easily accessed in case you need to report your loss or compromised privacy. They would need to get specific data like your account numbers and ask a little about your purchasing history as a verification process.

 

File a fraud alert even though identity theft is just suspected.

This alert status will bring notification when your credit is processed and is attempted to be used. It will immediately prompt another form or method of verification of the user’s identity. This will serve as a deterrent. This fraud alert is done by calling one of the three major credit bureaus directly. It wouldn’t matter which one you will contact since it will automatically alert the other two agencies. The alert will stay for 90 days unless you will call and remove the alert status.

Source: nerdwallet.com

Initiate a credit freeze

A credit freeze is done when you are 100% sure that somebody is using your identity. To perform this service, the cardholder should call each credit bureau directly. Credit freeze status will mean that the banks and other companies that are processing opening line of credit for you will be denied access to your credit report; thus making the process difficult for the perpetrator.

 

File an identity theft report

File a report with the Federal Trade Commission. This government agency is assigned to protecting consumers against fraud such as identity theft. Once the report is filed, and it can be done online. They will send you an Identity Theft Affidavit, print the affidavit and keep as a record for fraudulent charges lawsuit later on.

 

File a report with the local police

Call the authorities and ask what are the needed pieces of evidence or information for them to scrutinize and for the case to progress.

Kleptomania In Children

Children are naturally curious. They tend to touch, bring and even keep things that they don’t own. However, this assertiveness stops at a certain age and that is when a child realizes his personal boundaries and will come to understand the right values. However, for some children, such situation may not be as expected. 

Some kids just couldn’t stop taking things that don’t belong to them. They keep getting things that don’t belong to them without any reason at all. It may sound queer, but it really happens and it is a mental health issue. This condition is called Kleptomania.

 

What is Kleptomania?

 

Kleptomania in kids is an impulse-control condition, specifically the compulsive stealing act. This disorder is characterized by having that compelling urge to steal. The child couldn’t control that desire no matter how much he or she tries to resist it. In this kind of disorder, stealing becomes a natural and automatic act. 

 

Children with kleptomania find the stealing act pleasurable, and they also experience that extreme satisfaction. However, despite the triumphant sentiment, they also sense the feeling of guilt and shame. That is why kleptomaniacs keep their condition a big secret. 

Causes of Kleptomania in Kids

 

Just like any other disorder, kleptomania has its root reasons. Included in the causes are biological, psychological and environmental factors. 

 

It’s all in the head.

Risky behavior comes in when the neurotransmitter availability decreased. It regulates person’s mood and emotions. This condition causes dopamine levels to increase, and this leads to pleasures which then encourages stealing. 

The symbol of stealing.

For a child with kleptomania, the stolen object is a symbol of something. A child also has his or her wishes or desires materialistically. Stealing that thing he or she can’t have will give him that special satisfaction. 

 

One way of coping with loss.

Being denied to so many things or losing something can also lead to kleptomania in children. Stealing an object can give them that sense of relief and forget about the pain for a while. 

Treatment for Kleptomania in Children

 

Treating kleptomania requires the help of both psychologist and the child’s parents. Typically, parents will feel ashamed, angry and saddened when they discover that their kid is a kleptomaniac. However, parents shouldn’t let emotions go over their head.  The child needs their help more than anything else. Instead of judging them, parents mustn’t be frustrated with the child. It is the disorder, illness or condition that needs to be frowned upon and not the child directly. Blaming the child for his untoward behavior will only make things worse. 

With the help of experts, parents can get mental help for their child. One of the most recommended treatment is called the Exposure and Response Prevention. This therapy needs the full cooperation of the parents as well. Fact is that parents are also made to participate in this kind of treatment. This way, they would fully understand the facts about kleptomania and how they can address it properly. Such treatment is done rigidly and constantly.

 

Kleptomania should not be regarded like it is the worst condition in the world. It can be corrected with the right treatment and attitude. This situation can happen to any child and understanding is needed, not judgment or ridicule.

Children Who Steal

Children are naturally curious. They tend to get very interested in a specific thing and take it with them without asking permission from the owner of the item. For children ages 3 to 5 years old, such act is excusable. But kids who are already at their right age to know what is appropriate or not, this action is not acceptable. 

The Parents’ Role

 

It is true that parents can’t be with their children 24/7 to monitor their behavior. But you can still implant ethical values in your child. 

 

Be a Role Model. 

First, you have to be a role model to your child. Be careful about what you say or how you act because your child will mimic it.  Show him or her the right attitude and behavior, and the child will eventually follow you, adopt it and own it. 

 

Teach them. 

You can also teach them the right values. Emphasize more on honesty and consideration of others so that it would be instilled into their minds that stealing is not good at all

Monitor them. 

Take note of your child’s things. Make it a habit to check their bags after school, and if you find something that doesn’t belong to them, call his or her attention at once. 

 

Reasons why children steal.

 

Children steal for some reasons. But as parents, you have to open your heart and still try to understand even if it is difficult. But again, appropriate actions must be imposed. 

 

Sibling rivalry

Some kids steal things from their siblings just to mess with them. Jealousy and envy is the root of such actions. 

 

Peer approval

Your child may steal to show their friends that they are tough and can do anything. They just want to belong, be accepted and considered by the people they call their “peers.” 

 

False independence and freedom

Some kids steal things just to have it on their own. They usually get tired asking permission to borrow something, the solution they see is to take the item for good and have it on their own. 

Precautionary measures when you find your child stealing.

 

Tell your child about stealing.

You can start by telling your child that stealing is a big mistake. It is a disrespectful act and completely inconsiderate of other people’s feelings.

 

Bring or pay it back as a consequence to your child. 

Once you found out that your child has stolen something, you should help them get the item back or pay for it. Your child must also be responsible for such action, for example, being grounded or a soft punishment.

 

Your child must not “like” the idea of stealing. 

Make sure that your child will not find any advantage in the act of stealing. If he or she does, then, your child may tend to repeat it. 

 

No nagging or making your child feel bad. 

You can talk to your child, but don’t scold or nag him or her repeatedly. And telling them that they are the worst person you know will not help the situation. Instead of making them realize their mistake, they will now have the reason to take it against you and be more rebellious.

Tell your child that this is unacceptable. 

Make it clear to him or her that, what he or she did is unacceptable and would be a substantial lousy mark of her in the society. 

 

Instead of prosecuting the child immediately, it is best to do some soul-searching. Ask them why they did such act, assess what would be the best intervention and put an act on it. Remember that you love your child, it is just the act of stealing that you don’t approve. If there are issues that you can’t talk with your child, you can always turn to BetterHelp for support.