August 19, 2019 Off By Dennis Rhodes

Top Alternatives To School Detention

Most educators see school detention as ineffective and a waste of time. Admit it: this punishment does not instantly fix a student’s attitude. It then leads them to become repeat offenders in the following weeks. Reading boring books and staring at walls might not do the job, but there are other alternatives to the traditional school detention. Let us explore them one by one.

Lunch Workshop

Administrators can hire a counselor and meet these challenging students once a week for their lunch workshop. They are required to report to the counselor’s office without having to worry about their lunch. The office serves lunch so students won’t use the long lines in the cafeteria as an excuse to skip the sessions.

The counselor will then run a series of workshops tackling various character development issues. These include developing a positive vibe, having a growth mindset, attending support groups, or overcoming school stressors. The students should be able to connect to the chosen topics, and the one leading the discussion should be genuine to make the sessions as productive as possible.

After the mini-workshops, the counselor gives the floor to the student. It can be a safe space for him or her to share some of the struggles he or she faces. This practice will help build trust and connection with one another.

Mindful Moment Room

Instead of sending the naughty kids to a bland classroom, why not cure their disruptive behavior in a room with pillows, blankets, lamps, and decorations called the Mindful Moment Room. This place can be a space for the students to go through various types of meditation to calm them down.

Research shows that meditation positively affects both the body and mind. It enhances an individual’s patience, focus, attention span, and attitude.

Robert Coleman Elementary already practices this after-school program, and they were able to reap its benefits in just a short amount of time. According to the school administrators, the suspension rates dropped, class attendance increased, and test scores were at its highest in the past year.

Reflection Papers

If a student has a record of misbehaving all the time, the teacher may opt to place them in a quiet room and have them write a reflection paper. You can assign topics that you think they can relate to. After they write it, make sure to talk to them about their piece and engage a conversation with them.

This approach can also be the best strategy for you to know why a student is acting up. Once you know his or her struggles, it will be easier for you to create a tailored action plan.

Community Service

Rather than cooping the student in a hole, why not let him or her engage in community service? Your school can partner with several non-governmental organizations (NGOs) where they can lend their time. These include nursing homes, orphanage, environmental groups, and many more. Exposing these individuals to good deeds might help them reassess their lives and change for the better.

Do not expect students to change their troubling behaviors by placing them in a small classroom. The goal of detention is to let the students be accountable for their mistakes, reflect on these shortcomings, and improve their behavior. The four alternatives mentioned above could be the way to attain these.…

August 12, 2019 Off By Dennis Rhodes

Self-Help Strategies To Overcome Kleptomania

Every time we encounter someone who steals from us, we always associate them with the idea of a criminal. We do not feel sorry for these individuals since we think that they do it on purpose. However, some people are only victims of a mental health disorder called kleptomania.

Kleptomania is the inability to prevent oneself from stealing from other people and feeling guilty and ashamed after. Take note that this is different from those who steal just because they’re bored, they want a thrill, or they only wish to. Kleptomaniacs feel uncontrollable urges to do this act, even if they don’t desire to. If you are experiencing these impulses, you might want to try these self-help strategies to overcome the disorder.

Accept Your Situation

It is essential to recognize that you are experiencing kleptomania and understand that you need help. Some people fail to address this because of their inability to accept their situation. If you keep on putting aside this problem, your disorder might escalate more in the future.

Contemplate

You should start contemplating and reflecting to understand your condition completely. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • When do you usually steal?
  • How often do you do it?
  • How does it make you feel?
  • What do you think are your triggers?
  • What do you think are its consequences?
  • Who benefits from this?

You can grasp your stealing behaviors with the answers to these questions. Do you engage in this act to escape from reality or do you steal to experience emotional high? Are you more likely to do it when you’re stressed or when you’re relaxed? There are endless answers that you can obtain from these myriads of questions. You only have to analyze your responses to see the whole picture of your situation.

Create A Prevention Plan

Drafting a prevention plan can help you take control of your desire to steal. Start by identifying your stealing history. Then, determine your triggers from stealing and come up with specific steps to avoid waking up these urges. Here are some strategies for your prevention plan:

  • Observe. If you feel the urge beginning, stop what you are doing and stand still. Observe your environment, the people around you, and yourself. This action will help you calm your mind.
  • Talk to yourself. When you’re on the verge of succumbing to pressure, try talking to yourself. Remind yourself of your values, how good you are as a person, and how much you love yourself.
  • Exercise relaxation techniques. You can use relaxation techniques such as yoga or repeated breathing to calm yourself.
  • Distract yourself. Do something that you are passionate about, be it playing sports, painting, writing, or watching a movie. You should find a positive alternative to stealing.

Aside from these self-help strategies, it might also be helpful for you to seek the help of a therapist. Remember, you don’t have to endure your problem alone. You’ll get back on track faster with the help of your family, friends, and some professionals.…

July 30, 2019 Off By Dennis Rhodes

How To Deal With Your Parents’ White Lies According To Therapists

There have been many talks, studies, and writeups by therapists about children lying to their parents. On the other hand, discussions about parents lying to their children are rare. Telling white lies to a toddler-aged kid has been normalized by many when it comes to parenting. Once you get to your teenage years or young adulthood, and your parents still do this act, conflicts tend to arise, and the gap tends to increase.

Source: pixabay.com

Research suggests most people consider it socially and culturally acceptable for parents to use white lies with their children. Psychologists and therapists identify some common reasons for parents’ white lies, including the protection of their children and their interests.

Parents also cover up the truth to shape their children’s behavior and feelings. Research from two related studies on parental lying and deception in the United States found parents also use white lies as a strategy to make their children happy. 

Impact Of Parental Lying On A Parent-Child Relationship

Source: flickr.com

It has been proven parental lying damages your relationship with your parents and diminishes intrinsic motivation. As a result, you will not learn the appropriate behavior you need to demonstrate if you always cooperate when they tell you white lies. Lying also tends to exhaust parents mentally as they must always remember the story they created to look and sound consistent.

Parents are hurting their children when they lie to them. As you grow old while you get used to your parents contradicting the truth you have come to know, you end up doubting yourself. At a young age, you should already have your inner sense of right and wrong through your parents’ encouragement. You may be denied a healthy personality once you are unable to trust yourself because of your parents.

Massachusetts Institute of Technology researchers have found children can sense when their parents are lying to them. It can lead them to distrust their parents, the very people who should teach them ethical values. Children, especially those who are beyond the age of curiosity, are not gullible and know when their parents are withholding information.

A New York Times article also pointed out that psychiatrists have been seeking to determine when white lies become destructive. Moreover, they have also been studying which kinds of mental health problems can be derived consequently. Therefore, parental lying may not only negatively impact a parent-child relationship but also cause serious health and well-being issues within the family.

Source: maxpixel.net

Tips On Dealing With Your Parents’ White Lies

  • Always ask your parents genuine questions. Every time you ask your parents about something you would like to know, measure their truth’s consistency. Show them you are eager to know the ‘real truth’ and how it will effectively and positively affect you as their child and as an individual.
  • Sympathize with your parents. It is crucial that at a young age, you already learn how to let your parents know you understand them and their struggles. Show your parents how open-minded and understanding you have become. As a result, they will no longer deny you the truth you seek to know even if it might hurt your feelings. Make them feel you are on the same page.
  • Avoid being overpowered by disappointment. As previously mentioned, parents often lie to protect their children’s emotions. It does not mean they are already removing parental support and guidance. As their child, you might face disappointments from your parents’ white lies and suspicious actions. You must know how not to overthink everything. Find a solution alongside your parents rather than on your own.
  • Distinguish the difference between acceptable and forbidden lies. Learning about the boundaries between truth and consequences at a young age are likely to stay with us as we grow up and old. You must not be oversensitive about everything and realize the white lies created by your parents are not always about or because of you.
  • Let them know what you value as a person. It is okay to be vocal as a child, especially when you demonstrate and maintain a respectful behavior. Open communication has been a vital, fundamental key to keeping a harmonious relationship within every group or network such as your family. Tell them directly how you feel about things and what you would like to know to improve yourself and manage growth.

Therapists have been giving expert advice to parents who still use lying as a parenting strategy. Now it is time you do your part as a growing child to understand your parents’ white lies and let them know you deserve to know the truth.

May 1, 2019 Off By Dennis Rhodes

Living With Mean Parents

There are people in our lives that always make us feel loved, safe, and respected. Those qualities are what we expect our parents would provide out of all people in the world. However, not all of our expectations reach a happy ending. That’s because some parents don’t seem to do their job correctly. As a result, some of us end up hating and not wanting them around. Most experts and psychologists would agree that our parents’ approach to bad parenting will affect our way of thinking and behaving. Therefore, the chances of damaging our overall health are at risk when we live and choose to stay with mean parents.

Too Much Toxicity

Most parents would make a lot of sacrifices for their children so that they can have a better future. Unfortunately, there are those parents that don’t seem to work that way. Sometimes, they are the ones who always ridicule, taunt, and tease their kids for no apparent reason. These parents often yell and scream at their children when they do something wrong. There is no proper disciplinary action implied in parenting. In worst cases, they even resort to physical harm sometimes, especially when they get irritated and frustrated over a small mistake. There are unfortunate instances too that they would say mean and hurtful things. These include “you’re a terrible child,” “I don’t like you,” “you’re a burden to this family,” “I don’t love you,” “I regret not aborting you,” and a lot more.

With all the toxicity inside the family, a lot of us would grow up with low self-esteem and self-worth. Yes, we often hear their excuse such as “those are just words, and you’ll eventually get over it.” Some of us would think that our parents somehow don’t mean what they say. Despite our parents saying those words over and over again, we believe them. But something inside of us knows those words mean a lot.

All the pressure, anxiety, and depression that our mean parents are giving us are unacceptable. In some cases, some of us do stupid things because of the emotional and mental damage they cause. These include cutting and inflicting self-harm. We often end up making bad decisions in life as well because we get caught up in situations we can’t handle. We are not given proper guidance and often left alone. We live in a condition where there’s no room for us to feel safe and wanted. We get trapped with all the negative things that continuously damage our overall health. That’s all because the persons who are supposed to protect, love, and care for us are the ones who inflict tormenting pain and agony.

Choose To Be Better

As children, we know we have to be thankful for our parents’ sacrifices for us. We understand that there’s no greater love than what they can offer. We know that what they do only represents their love and affection towards us. Sometimes we might feel that things are not enough or quite too much. But our parents are doing everything they can to protect us from harm. However, if their parenting style becomes hurtful instead of helpful, we need to tell them. Some would think that correcting them would be disrespectful, but we have to let them know. We need to let go of the negative influence in our lives before we end up losing everything we have. We have to stop thinking that there’s this constant need for our parents. Because we might never know, perhaps it’s them who need us.

To those some of you out there who are struggling with mean and toxic parents, you need to listen. The negative influence in our lives will continue to contribute a detrimental effect if we let it. We don’t need to suffer this way. Nobody is allowed to hurt us emotionally, physically, and mentally, even if that’s our parents or any members of the family. We need to become a better person not only for ourselves but for the people around us as well.

We can’t choose our parents. However, we can decide how they should impact our lives. We can still make changes in it. It should start with the acceptance that our parents are causing us emotional and mental trauma. Therefore, we need to do something about it.…

April 22, 2019 Off By Dennis Rhodes

Top 3 Tips From 2016 Chicago International Conference On Epilepsy And Treatment

Dealing with someone who is suffering from epilepsy can be challenging and complicated, especially when the attacks happen continually. You will start to worry about your loved one who is suffering from this disorder. At times, it can even break your heart once you find out that his epilepsy is difficult to cure. I gained my knowledge and understanding of this disease when I attended the 2016 Chicago International Conference On Epilepsy And Treatment.

 

 

During the said conference, the speakers highlighted the role that friends and family members play when it comes to dealing with someone who has epilepsy. If you have a loved one who has this disorder, then make sure that you familiarize yourself with these tips:

 

Be Patient

 

As much as possible, learn how to show your patience and understanding when it comes to dealing with the other person who has epilepsy. Keep in mind that this individual has no control with his condition. Hence, do not blame him for what happens during the epileptic attacks.

 

Seek Professional Help

 

Do not forget that it is crucial to seek the right medical assistance when it comes to this matter. Take note that epilepsy can be dangerous when not appropriately attended. As such, be sure to accompany your loved one for regular medical checkups.

 

 

Act Like Everything Is Normal

 

Are you aware that people who suffer from illnesses and diseases fell uncomfortable once they start to feel that people’s focus and attention are all directed to them? Of course, they want to feel loved and cared, but they are not interested in becoming the subject of pity. Therefore, it is best if you will avoid magnifying his medical condition. Find a way to act cool about it.

 

With your love and support, a person with epilepsy can start to feel that everything is going to get better soon.

 …

April 3, 2019 Off By Dennis Rhodes

2016 New Jersey School Mental Health Conference: These Kids Need Treatment, Not Punishment

The number of young offenders in the country today is increasing exponentially. Reasons for this comes in a variety of factors – lack of parental love and support, no educational influence, peer pressure, and more which are then connected with mental health issues. But as these teens are caught up and brought in the juvenile justice system, something must be done to these detained youths. That is the topic during the 2016 New Jersey School Mental Health Conference.…

February 28, 2019 Off By Dennis Rhodes

The Best Activities In The 2016 Houston Homeschoolers Family Fun Day

The 2016 Houston Homeschoolers Family Fun Day is one of the most amazing events that all families enjoy. Aside from the goal of strengthening each member’s relationship, it allows the unit to meet and connect with different individuals in the community as well. There are lots of activities that aim to achieve personality development, talent enhancements, as well as communication skills.

The Fun Ideas

The event considers family quality time. That’s the reason why they promote volunteering together as a unit. In this activity, everybody makes the world a better place. Parents and children can share a volunteering activity that they all agree to do. Few suggestions included are nursing home caring, the collection of food for the food bank, the organization of small community-based business expo, community clean-up, and fundraising to support non-profit organizations. Another fun idea of the event is planting. The joy of contributing something back to nature while taking the good in it gets emphasized. Parents and kids can water and harvest plants. It will not only teach kids to appreciate the value of organic produce, but they will also benefit from the nutrients it gives. There are cooking lessons too. There are also song compositions, dancing activity, movie marathons, and a lot more fun activities where both kids and parents can enjoy. There’s also a suggestion for literature and visual arts. There’s drawing and creating self-portraits projects that enhance creativity.

The emphasis on the event is not just to showcase what family’s worth is, but also the realization of how homeschooling can be beneficial for them. With this event, parents can understand the importance of time spent with their kids while they are exploring new things. Yes, attending school provides its advantages as well, but homeschooling can pose a more positive on-hand outlook in life.…

January 14, 2019 Off By Dennis Rhodes

Family Basics: Practical Tips For Parenting Teenagers

When a couple decides to start a family, their initial tendency is to read self-help books or attend parenting classes. These resources, after all, are supposed to teach first-time moms and dads how to raise a child. There’s no specific formula on how to become a perfect parent, but they should be able to keep you from committing fewer mistakes.

The thing is, it’s no secret that experts mostly talk about children up to 12 years old. Kids below that age are still heavily dependent on parents, so that’s quite understandable. Nonetheless, people do not call teenagers as young adults for the reason that they need guidance from mom and dad too. Some parents fail to do so; that’s why their children usually end up as juvenile delinquents who fear no one.

Considering you don’t want to see your adolescent kids blossom into responsible adults – and never go behind bars – here are a few practical parenting tips for you.

1. Establish Your Role At Home

The first thing you should do is to make your role known in the house. It is too vague to say that you are the mom or the dad, to be honest. Kids can tell which is which based on the gender, but they do not have a predisposed idea of what to expect from you. Thus, you ought to go out of your way to help them realize that you are someone who will tell them when they are wrong, praise them when they something great, and hear them out when they need a listener. That is one of the easiest ways to ensure that none of the children will cross their boundaries.

2. Encourage Openness Within The Family

While kids may have the right to own something, it is not advisable to give them a computer, tablet, or smartphone before they reach the age of 18. The reason is that having such mobile gadgets gives them access to various information, which may or may not be good for them. If the teens need to use the PC, they should only use it in the living room. If they want to talk to a friend or anyone else, it should not be hidden to the family, especially to the parents. It is essential to practice openness from early childhood so that they won’t feel odd about it later.

3. Update Your House Rules

Keep in mind that the regulations that you impose on a seven-year-old kid are most likely inapplicable to a 15-year-old teen. Whereas the former’s classes end around three in the afternoon, the latter might have extra lessons to take after that. Teenagers usually have extracurricular activities too, which they cannot say no to all the time. Because of that, you should be open to updating your house rules every time your kid reaches a new milestone.

4. Avoid Living Through Your Kids

Although it seems reasonable to hear parents talk about their dreams for their children, you should not force your dream to them. Many folks do the opposite of that, in which they push the kids to become, say, a doctor or basketball player even if that’s not what the youngsters want. That can result in your children either developing depression or learning how to lie.

5. Eat At Least One Meal Together Daily

It should also be one of your main priorities to eat breakfast, lunch or dinner with your family members as much as possible. Some parents forget to do that, claiming that they are busy working to provide their kids’ financial needs. The latter, therefore, get used to eating by themselves or with a nanny. If you don’t do anything about it, they will eventually grow emotionally apart from you and may never listen to you.

6. Offer Help Even If The Kids Don’t Ask For It

Another thing that you can do is to keep on offering assistance to your children. When kids become teenagers, you see, they feel too timid to ask for help, regardless if it comes to completing school projects or dealing with other problems. The task is much harder for youngsters who are not close to their mom and dad. Hence, as the parent, you should develop a habit of offering help even when the kids already say that they can do something on their own.

7. Learn To Make Compromises

Lastly, remember that teenagers do not respond well to regulations that make them feel like kids. These kids think they are as entitled to doing what they want as the adults; that’s why they may not be too agreeable with everything you say. Instead of reprimanding them, however, you should learn to listen to their opinion and come up with an agreement that’s suitable for both of you. This way, both parties will be happy.

Final Thoughts

A teenager won’t stray in a dark, rocky path if they know that they have parents to count on to at any time. Talk to them; listen to whatever they need you to hear. Don’t give up on them too, no matter how rebellious they get.

Try not to forget the parenting tips mentioned above. Good luck!…

November 6, 2018 Off By Dennis Rhodes

Psychology 101: Why Do Young People Commit Theft?

Parents and older members of the community work hand in hand to become the best role models for the children. They – the kids – are excellent imitators, after all. In case they are often around good Samaritans, they may end up volunteering a lot. Consequently, if these youngsters often hear someone cuss from birth, they think it’s acceptable and may start cursing like a sailor regardless of who they are speaking with now.

One of the activities that adults can never teach kids – whether consciously or unconsciously – is stealing. The teachers at school and the parents at home tell them that it’s better to ask for something than to take it without permission. Still, many young people get sent to the juvenile detention facilities because of theft.

Psychology experts say that there are a few reasons why they think of stealing instead of enjoying their childhood. Some of them include:

1. Peer Pressure

One of the most typical causes of thieving is the bad influence. For instance, a nerdy child wants to become a part of a little gang of famous students from the school. The latter, however, decided that it would be fun to coax him or her to steal Starbursts at a 7-Eleven store before he or she could join the group. Out of desperation to fit in, the poor kid might do it against their better judgment.

2. Depression

Many young and old children tend to stop following rules when depressed. If you tell them to turn right, they go left. In their head, they are forever doomed; they do not have a future ahead of them. That’s why getting caught or, worse, having a police record for stealing means nothing to them.

3. Neglect

Some youngsters opt to become a thief as well in hopes of getting the attention of their busy parents. They are likely aware that it is highly unacceptable in the eyes of the law, yet they do so to have their mom or dad stop what they are doing and focus on them. Even if it entails that the store where they stole something might charge them with theft, that is.

4. Loss

Losing something or someone makes some children feel like there is a hole they need to fill in their system. While others do it by finding new friends or picking up a hobby, some falsely believe that they will be okay after managing to steal somewhere. That often results in plenty of repercussions, of course.

5. Kleptomania

Unfortunately, there are a few young people who were born with a type of mania that allows them to commit theft. Although they are aware of how lousy stealing is, they cannot resist the magnetism of getting anything from candy to a pair of shoes without paying for them. Their mental disorder says that it’s fun; hence, it may be difficult to cull this habit.

6. Poverty

Coming from a low-income family and not being able to buy new stuff is not enough validation for committing theft, that is true. Sadly, some children think that that is the only way for them to have what kids who hail from well-off parents have. They stop thinking about what’s right or wrong at that moment; they merely go for it and hope for the best.

In Conclusion

Becoming a thief is not innate in every human being. Circumstances and, in a few cases, mental health illnesses push people, especially the young ones, to go against the law. Instead of condemning for their actions, though, it is best to discipline them and teach them how to behave well.…

October 4, 2018 Off By Marie Miguel

10 Best Ways To Take Care Of Your Child In Case Of Panic Attack

According to Dr. Bubrich, a clinical psychologist working at the Child Mind Institute, panic attacks involve a sudden outburst of uncomfortable symptoms, including but not limited to, abnormally fast-paced heartbeat, excessive sweating, trembling, dizziness, and nausea. It feels like patients have a heart attack.

As parents, it is one thing to accept that our child experiences this and it is a different thing actually to deal with panic attacks together with your child. Here are 10 of the best ways to care for your child in case of these unwanted attacks:

  1. Pay Attention To The Details

 Once you start seeing the symptoms of a panic attack on your child, pay attention. Do not dismiss it as just another episode, much less think of it as little drama. Anxiety is real, and it is taking a toll on the lives of many people – elders and teenagers alike.

  1. Familiarize Yourself With Attacks

If this is not the first time that your child experienced a panic attack, you should already be familiar with his responses. Take note of his symptoms as well as the most immediate cure for the first-aid to be almost second nature to you already.

  1. Be Patient And Supportive

Panic attacks do not have a standard running time. The attack may be quick, or it may take time, depending on your child and the gravity of the trigger. Throughout the entire process, stick by your child’s side and keep comforting him. Never judge too quickly.

  1. Be Open About Panic Attacks

Especially when you are living in a home with other people, do not be ashamed that your child may be experiencing panic attacks. It pays to receive support from other people as well – not only your family members but also from the school and medical professionals.

  1. Do Not Panic Yourself – Relax

While it is understandable that as a parent, you might be caught in the moment also and not know what to do with your child, do not panic. Your child would need to draw strength and peace from you. Stay calm and talk to your child in a relaxed manner.

  1. Practice Breathing Exercises

Induce proper breathing in your child by telling him to breathe in and then breathe out. Do this breathing exercise for several minutes and let your child take his time. You can also hug him or hold his hand or help him mirror your breathing so he can slow down.

  1. Give Assurance To Your Child

Never forget the words of assurance. Tell your kid that everything will be okay, that there’s nothing to worry about, and that things will get better if they believe. Encourage them with positivity and create an atmosphere that rebuilds trust and confidence.

  1. Provide Healthy Disruptions

Depending on your child’s coping mechanism, you may introduce distractions that would take your child’s focus away from the trigger of the panic attack. This coping mechanism may be in the form of looking at the greens outside, listening to music, or reading a book.

  1. Be Ready With Medication

In case your kid needs to take medications to manage the effects of a panic attack, be ready with these too. For instance, there are antidepressants called Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors which make the body’s alarm system less reactive.

  1. Know When To Seek Assistance

While it may be rare, there are still instances when external help might be warranted such as when the panic attack won’t go away even after a long while. Be ready with the contact number of the nearest hospital and ask help from professionals.

As parents, we are here to guide our children through these episodes and vow to support them all the way until they can overcome their anxiety disorder. Be encouraged by the fact that panic attacks always come to an end and they, like any other disorders, can be overcome.

 

 

 

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